Life

A couple of months ago I mentioned some changes in our department that have since escalated greatly:  on April 25, the Development team was summarily dismissed, effective 30 days later, and Joe hired two of his friends from Wells Fargo.  Within a couple of weeks of our lay-off, the Construction Management Team - well, Seth, anyway - still waiting word on Richard in CA who was out on medical leave - was given their 30 days and in Seattle, another Wells Fargo employee was hired.  The recently demoted Real Estate manager, who was my grand-boss until Lorri's departure, left, though I can only guess at the circumstances, and Val, the Facilities manager in Seattle, was packaged.

The new team will, undoubtedly, do well.  I question how some will fit in with the Umpqua culture, at least at first, but that's not my problem.  The big thing is this, and I mentioned it to the president and the COO before I left: what happend to six members (about a third) of a very productive team was just wrong.  I understand business decisions and have been the "victim" of business-related layoffs in the past.  But the way this was executed was so against everything the bank stands for that as soon as everything had cleared, we closed our accounts and took our money back to our old bank.  So did Seth, and I bet the others may have too. 

Interestingly, since then, I've told the story to friends and many have said "that doesn't seem to be what Umpqua stands for - don't think we'll be banking there anytime soon."

Oops.

Losing and Finding Myself

The last nine days I've had a forced opportunity to lay around and do nothing but watch TV and ponder things.  I've been trying to make sure the pondering takes precedence over TV - after all, my mind is mushy enough - and many thoughts are begging to be shared. 

What seems to be nagging me the most is the realization that as I'm aging, I am becoming a stereotypical old lady.  By that, I mean that I seem to be losing my sense of Giving and have become more stingy with myself.  It's a trend I don't like so I've been diving into the Why. 

I think part of it is being taken advantage of not once, not twice, but three times in the last several months.  All three instances were giving of myself for what I thought was the greater good but which remain hurtful that these are still out there.  See if you might feel the same:

#1: a classmate learned at the last minute that she could attend our 30-year reunion from out of state.  She asked me to cover her registration, promising to pay when she arrived.  She ended up blowing off our registration person that night, so I and my co-chair emailed her several times following the reunion, reminding her.  The reunion was kind enough to pay me back so I am not peronally out the money anymore, but she has now ripped off the rest of her classmates.  And interestly, she unfriended me on Facebook, telling me I said something to her the Previous MAY that hurt her feelings.  Wouldn't tell me what so I could apologize specifically, but I also noticed that another friend (who really was a friend, or so I thought) also took me off her list, and coincidentally has become a good friend of this classmate.  Whatever.

#2: a friend of a friend's mother passed away out of state.  He'd been out of work for a while and didn't have the cash for a last-minute plane ticket to her funeral.  He asked my friend if he knew of anyone who might be willing to sell airline miles so he could get there, and he said he had an immediate down payment of $500 if anyone could wait for the balance.  I had a couple of free trips on Southwest so offered to sell them for himself and his brother only for the cash I put out, $110 for both tickets.  He accepted and was very thankful that he'd have the extra cash for expenses while there.  This was last fall and I've not seen the money.  If it was my friend, it would be a non-issue and there would be no money to exchange - that's what friends do.   I don't know this guy but I imagine my friend would feel pretty bad if he knew this was outstanding.

#3: we are so fortunate to have been season ticket holders for Dave's favorite team, the UW Huskies, so last year when extra tickets were offered for sale, we purchased two extra pair of Ducks-Huskies tickets.  Of course several people were interested so it became a first-come first-served situation, and one pair went to someone I thought would become a new friend after having been an acquaintance for a few years.  Unfortunately, the account on which the check was written was hacked or something so she asked me to not cash it and said she would immediately send me a replacement from the new account.  This was last November and several reminders, both nice and not so nice, have proven that we will not get our money for these tickets.  The thing here is that several other people really wanted to go to the game and they would have been good for it.

What ticks me off is that I've always been willing to help however I can and have always believed in quid pro quo - what I've given I've typically gotten back ten-fold.  So these three situations have actually hurt my feelings even though I know that none of these people are my friends.  It just felt, in all situations, the right thing to do.

What ticks me off even more is that for some reason I can't seem to move on.  I think I know why:  #1 didn't touch just me, but my class. Though the amount is very small, why should she be exempt just because something I apparently said hurt her feelings?  I apologized in a general way since I didn't know what it was (but I have to admit it was with a grain of salt because it all felt so "high school" to me.)  #2 was done at the request of my friend.  Doesn't this guy care about his friend's feelings?  #3, it turns out, has been diagnosed with a pretty serious thing so my heart wants to help her but my head is ticked off to have been taken advantage of.

My pledge here and now: to move on from these three unfortunate situations and to return to being as loving and giving as possible to my friends and loved ones, the ones with whom it doesn't matter about paybacks, because their love and friendship is all I need.  If you're reading this, chances are you're on that list and I love you and thank you for your patience as I've gone into selfish mode for a few months.

Now: what can I do for you?

Just a journal entry

So on January 13, my manager, the best I've had in my career, resigned her position and left the bank.  This, after greeting us as normal and informally scheduling a meeting for later that morning, created many unanswered questions when, within an hour or two, her manager called my co-workers and me to behind closed doors to announce her resignation, effective immediately, and telling us she had already left the building.  Shock and grief are not too strong of words to express our surprise and four weeks later, the hole still exists.

That day I called Joe, my old manager from my days at Wells Fargo.  He had been packaged following the reoganization of his team after the Wachovia purchase and several months before had given me his card and asked me to keep my eyes open for him.  He called me back and said he had posted for Lorri's position.

Within a week of Lorri's resignation, our Real Estate and Leasing manager, Bob, resigned, effective two weeks from now.  He just doesn't feel the job is a good fit for him personally, despite really liking the company and the team.  I have loads of respect for him for realizing this and leaving before letting any gunk get in the way.  He is amazing in his dedication to leaving his department in as good a shape as possible.

Then this last Wednesday, February 8, at our department's weekly meeting, Julie, the head of our department and the one who told us the news of the resignations, announced that she would be stepping into Bob's position and Joe would assume her role as head of the department, leaving Lorri's position still unfilled.  She also announced a new position, Design Manager, that would be filled by Tomomi, one of my fellow development managers.

Whew.  It's been a week of change and putting on a face and knowing these are really positive changes to our department but still wondering how it will all shake out.  I'll keep me posted.

Politics ... shudder ...

Anyone who knows me well knows I really don't like to talk politics.  I don't get why negative campaigning works and I can't stand what it turns people into.  Then when the candidates drop out and immediately endorse a previous opponent, it just seems so insincere and a huge game.

Do you think it will ever matter what qualifications a candidate has, rather than what he or she thinks his or her opponent can't do?  I can't remember the last time I heard any candidates tell me what they can do for me; instead, they spend so much time slamming their opponents that I never know what they themselves stand for.

I long for a serious candidate who wants to serve the country, to do the right thing for the country.  Instead, for the last several elections, I've found myself asking who is the less of two evils - how can that be right? 

It is ridiculous for either party to blame the other for the country's current situation.  I hear blame against Obama, but look what he inherited.  Okay, I give you that he should have waited a couple of terms before he ran - a Freshman legislator can't know that he is stepping into - but he didn't cause the current economy, no matter what anyone says.  I just don't think he knows how to improve it -- and really, who does?  It's like losing weight  - it takes time to gain it, and longer to lose it.  And let's face it, the three years Mr. Obama has been in office hasn't allowed time to heal the 8 years it took to break it.

Not that Mr. Bush was to blame either.  While I don't agree with many of the ways he dealt with things, he didn't cause them and again, no one could have known how to fix them.  It's sort of like parenthood, I'd guess -- you do what you know at the time.

This weekend we are spending time in Portland with dear friends from Vancouver, BC and as often happens, the subject of Politics has come up.  It was interesting to learn that Canada's election process takes 6 weeks - yes, weeks!  Okay, so think of the millions of dollars spent on American elections over the year or so they take and what it would mean if that were cut down exponentially - hey, that represents a good chunk of the national debt.

I am already sick of the process for the 2012 election, and we still have over 9 months to go.  At this rate, I'm going to be too uninformed to vote - unless they change it to the best candidate NOT to vote for, in which case, I still couldn't make a decision. 

And it makes me feel stupid.

The Green Thing

Checking out at the store, the young cashier suggested to the older woman, that she should bring her own grocery bags because plastic bags weren't good for the environment.

The woman apologized and explained, "We didn't have this green thing back in my earlier days."

The clerk responded, "That's our problem today. Your generation did not care enough to save our environment for future generations."

She was right -- our generation didn't have the green thing in its day.

Back then, we returned milk bottles, soda bottles and beer bottles to the store. The store sent them back to the plant to be washed and sterilized and refilled so it could use the same bottles over and over. So they really were recycled. But we didn't have the green thing back in our day.

We walked up stairs because we didn't have an escalator in every store and office building. We walked to the grocery store and didn't climb into a 300-horsepower machine every time we had to go two blocks. But she was right. We didn't have the green thing in our day.

Back then, we washed the baby's diapers because we didn't have the throw-away kind. We dried clothes on a line, not in an energy gobbling machine -- wind and solar power really did dry our clothes back in our early days. Kids got hand-me-down clothes from their brothers or sisters, not always brand-new clothing. But that young lady is right: we didn't have the green thing back in our day.

Back then, we had one TV or radio, in the house -- not a TV in every room. And the TV had a small screen the size of a handkerchief, not a screen the size of the state of Montana . In the kitchen, we blended and stirred by hand because we didn't have electric machines to do everything for us. When we packaged a fragile item to send in the mail, we used wadded up old newspapers to cushion it, not Styrofoam or plastic bubble wrap. Back then we didn't fire up an engine and burn gasoline just to cut the lawn. We used a push mower that ran on human power. We exercised by working so we didn't need to go to a health club to run on treadmills that operate on electricity.  But she's right: we didn't have the green thing back then.

We drank from a fountain when we were thirsty instead of using a cup or a plastic bottle every time we had a drink of water. We refilled writing pens with ink instead of buying a new pen, and we replaced the razor blades in a razor instead of throwing away the whole razor just because the blade got dull. But we didn't have the green thing back then.

Back then, people took the streetcar or a bus and kids rode their bikes to school or walked instead of turning their moms into a 24-hour taxi service.

We had one electrical outlet in a room, not an entire bank of sockets to power a dozen appliances. And we didn't need a computerized gadget to receive a signal beamed from satellites 2,000 miles out in space in order to find the nearest pizza joint.

But isn't it sad the current generation laments how wasteful we old folks were just because we didn't have the green thing back then?

Remember: Don't make old People mad.  We don't like being old in the first place, so it doesn't take much to tick us off.

The C Word

I awoke this morning ticked off.  The grieving process takes on many different phases, as we all learned in Psych. 101, and today I'm mad. 

In the last few months, two long-time dear friends were diagnosed with Cancer.  What the hell?  The good news is that both of them caught it early and are taking steps to stomp on it with all the vengeance needed to do so, and both are remaining as positive as I could ever imagine.  Then I learned last week of another new friend who is way too young (over a decade younger than I) who was diagnosed with lymphoma. 

And I'm mad.

What I didn't tell too many people is that I recently had that scare.  My annual squishing the Friday before Christmas resulted in a same-day call, saying that the radiologist saw an "area of concern" and needed to see me back "as soon as possible" for more pictures.  We returned the day after Christmas and were told that if ultra-sound would be needed, Dave could be there since no radiation was involved.  So in I went and they took 5 more pictures of a very specific part of my left breast.  I was told to wait comfortably in the lounge and the lab assistant would meet me to either invite me to get dressed or to escort me to the ultra-sound room.  As promised, in she came, immediately followed by calling Dave's name.  My heart flew to my throat and I was certain I had just joined the Club. 

I saw on the screen the area of concern and it was huge.  Two big black dots touching to form a disfigured Figure 8.  Ugly.  The ultra-sound tech took what seemed to be dozens of images and said it looked to her to be merely a cyst, nothing to worry about, that the fact it was Black indicated water, not mass.  Tears of relief, followed by more fear when in a few minutes, the radiologist came in to take another dozen or so images, and it hurt so much that I was certain something was wrong. 

The good news is, they diagnosed it as a pair of cysts that they want to leave as a base for future images.

But I'm still mad.  For my young and vibrant friends who have to deal with the mental anguish of cancer treatment.  For their spouses and children who can't understand what they are dealing with.  For their parents who never expect their kids to go through that.  For their friends who wish, so much, they could be there to hold their hands and too, that they could understand, fully, to help.  I'm so helpless.  And mad.

Gonna do my best to have a stellar day.

Empowerment and Heart

Umpqua Bank, my employer, has an extremely unique culture and I've thought of it as a perfect fit since I began working here in July 2010.  One of the amazing attributes of the bank is its encouragement towards empowerment by everyone who works here and some of the most incredible stories come from this empowerment, both related and unrelated to work:

- during one of my trips to Seattle around Christmas 2010, I learned of a story wherein a customer and his buddy (not a customer) were waiting in line at their branch (but we call them stores) and the manager overheard the buddy telling the customer that he was concerned he'd not be able to afford much of a Christmas for his kids, in fact, he wasn't sure a tree was in the cards that year.  Well, the manager found out the buddy's address from the customer and that night purchased and delivered a Christmas tree to his house.

- my building in Hillsboro adopted a family this last Christmas but the story is that at Thanksgiving, one of my co-workers decided that the family might just need some assistance for dinner.  He dug in and learned that indeed, a turkey dinner wasn't in the cards.  So he and his family (including two small kids) purchased a full traditional Thanksgiving dinner, the pots and pans in which to cook it and delivered it the day before.  While there, he noted a few things missing so after conferring with the Mom, he went to the store and came back with bags and bags of things that were needed (TP, diapers, condiments, milk, etc.)  On his own, and in lieu of his own Thanksgiving dinner.

I could go on and on ... these two stories will stick with me for a long time, and they are part of what I tell people when they ask why Umpqua considers itself the World's Greatest Bank. 

Tipping

Having worked in the service industry before, I completely understand and respect the practice of tipping.  But service providers need to get back to the original concept of "To Insure Prompt Service" rather than to consider it an obligation on the part of the tippers. 

The other night, some friends and I were out for Chris' birthday dinner.  We split the bill, with two of paying by credit card and two of us paying cash.  We always make it easy on our servers, providing amounts to be charged on post-it notes and this evening was no different.  The annoyance (is that a word?  It is now.) came when no change was provided to the cash givers, both of whom had given more (one considerably) than the amount due per the attached post-it notes.

Okay, really?  What made her think the extras were a tip, especially when the amount to be paid was clearly writen on the top of each pile?  She didn't ask, no one said "keep the change" and it was just weird - and she didn't come back for us to ask about the change.  Unfortunately for her, then, she received way less than she would have if she had done the right thing and brought change back.

The other thing that gets my goat and always, always either results in a smaller tip or, if otherwise the service was great, a short coaching of sorts, is when the server asks "do you need any change back?"  My coaching opportunity is always to say, instead, "I'll be right back with your change" and the customer will either say "thank you", meaning they expect it back, that they left more than what the tip would be, or "no, thanks, the rest is yours."

Tipping, in general, has become an American obligation and many servers (certainly not all, don't get me wrong) don't feel the need to go above and beyond, much less perform the minimum well.  It used to be that I, as a former server, would over-tip simply because the IRS took it out (that's a whole other issue) - but lately, it seems as if more and more just don't care.  I find that odd, especially in this economy where dozens are waiting to step in.

Rant over.  Make it a stellar day!

Channeling Paul

Welcome to my musings.  I hope to channel Paul Harvey, with a little Andy Rooney thrown in, no doubt. It's all in good fun and I hope we all enjoy it as we go.  A few years ago, I wrote what I called My Column and frankly, I've missed the creative outlet.  Let's see where this one takes us.  See you soon.