"Hey, the Mexican is stealing the furniture." The rest of the crew laughed heartily.
I kid you not, that's what happend today as my primary upholstery subcontractor was picking up something at our request. The perpetrators were cabinet installers and Juan was so mortified, he picked up the phone and called our office. Rightfully, he was seeing red. Our lead designer immediately said we would contact the owner of the company but Juan was only calling to let us know what happend. He planned to contact the company himself.
As I thought about it, I couldn't let this go. This cabinet shop has worked with us successfully, at least at the project management level, for years. So since it was after hours, I wrote to the owner with a copy to the project manager and told them it was unbelievable and unacceptable, and that I expected Juan to get a call immediately with a heartfelt apology, and that at the very least, they owed him a promise of diversity training, if not a turnover in installers.
Why aren't we as a whole society beyond this type of behavior? I can hear some saying "well, it was an isolated incident by a bunch of jerks." I don't agree. This country was built on and seems proud to be a melting pot of cultures and people - yet racism still blatantly exists; negative comments about our neighbors to the south, despite the hard work they provide to our society, happen often; bakeries and other businesses deny service to the gay community; political hatred is at an all-time high; and we joke about drivers who have a different look. I'm guilty, you're guilty, don't try to deny it. We must remember that the statements we make, even in jest, even if they are true, must be respectful and must not make human beings feel less than human. It just isn't right.
It will take everyone's concerted awareness that whatever we say touches something or someone. If it isn't kind, why say it? If you have to say "I shouldn't say this, but ...", then don't. Wouldn't it be nice if, in our lifetime, the same harmony we see at every Olympics were an everyday thing? I'm not talking about free-speech. I'm talking about respect and diversity - and we can all take refreshers regularly.
I've just had one.
Thursday, February 7, 2013
Sunday, January 6, 2013
A Mental Safari
When I was in the second grade, we had a substitute teacher when Mrs. Irwin was out for a few days. I don't remember this sub's name, but she was Australian and she would tell stories about school there and I knew then that I just had to go. Lucky for me, I married a man with the same passion for travel and we've had the amazing fortune to have traveled to Australia several times together. But another thing Miss Australian taught me was that I had to take an African safari. I don't recall the lesson but for the rest of my life so far, I knew I had to go to Africa.
Fortunately, we made this second 2nd Grade bucket list item happen in October 2012. I expected to be awed by it, to experience life-changing things and to love it. I was awed by it, I experienced life-changing things but I didn't love it. In fact, other than the animals which were absolutely amazing and some really nice people, I didn't like it.
The disparity between my comfort zone and reality in many parts of where we visited was very wide. It began as we drove from the airport in Cape Town and noted acres upon acres of 10 x 10 corrugated tin homes. My immediate reaction was to wonder what I could do to help, and I pondered that for several days as we passed more and more in our adventures. Then it hit me.
I was doing what I've been critical of our government of doing for so long, being so arrogant as to think our culture is better, that we need to bully our way in and fix things. But this didn't need fixing. It was tribal, it was family and it was their home. And who was I to think my way was better?
One of the things that lead me to this realization was a man who was standing outside the District Six museum (http://www.districtsix.co.za) as we were awaiting our hop-on-hop-off bus after visiting the museum. He had one of those jointed wood snakes and he was approaching people to startle them, then giggling like a school boy. When he saw us, he showed us the toy then said he lived in the shelter around the corner. He proceeded to talk to us about the importance of humor and joking before he ran off to play his snake game on a group of students getting on their bus. I couldn't help but hope that the bus would come very soon - but before it did, he came back and began to sing. My gosh, this guy's voice was one of the most beautiful we had ever heard. It was magical - we didn't know what he was singing, if it was something tribal or if he was making it up as he went along, but we were completely entranced. Every few minutes, he would say "the bus will come soon, don't worry" then he'd resume singing. The bus eventually came and my life had changed.
This man was not unhappy. He didn't tell us he lived in the shelter to make us feel bad for him, and he completely recognized our discomfort. He took it upon himself to try to make us comfortable in his environment. The environment, by the way, that up until the mid 1990's, spurned him for the color of his skin.
I've been attempting for the last couple of months to put my finger on what I didn't like about this trip. It wasn't this event in Cape Town, though that did test my resolve. One day in Zambia certainly added to it. Outside the park at Victoria Falls was a lovely marketplace, about 150 yards long, and from what we saw on our arrival, held an amazing array of beautiful tapestries, carvings, etc. that we really looked forward to looking at and undoubtedly purchasing. After we visited the falls, which were spectacular, we visited the marketplace, the plan being to start at one end, shop our way down, then return to make purchases. Wrong. The first booth we approached had beautiful carvings and nearly the second we looked at them, the proprieter, Joe, picked up the one he saw us looking at, together with one that was significantly bigger, and told us that was the one we had to buy. We told him they were lovely but we weren't yet ready to purchase after which he got even more pushy - nice, but pushy. We told him we would purchase the smaller item. He very nicely wrapped it up and we were on our way. But little did we know that it seemed like the rest of the booths targeted us as Rich Americans and from then on, like with Joe, we were not allowed, or so it felt, to just shop. They each had in mind what we needed to buy and when we said no, they said they would come to our hotel later to get payment. We lasted one more booth before walking away.
Though it was completely cultural to the area and from what we later learned, not saved for tourists but the way it was for anyone shopping, it was without a doubt one of the most uncomfortable moments I recall experiencing in my life. The next day proved to be more of the same but even worse as guys (always men, never women) would run up to us and walk along with us as we were hiking, just to try to get us to buy. A tour guide we met said we were safe and that it was like their telemarkeing - but we couldn't hang up. And putting it in words here doesn't begin to describe what happened during these encounters.
Vacation and adventure, in my little world, is all about relaxation and education - so in view of this, this vacation was a great one. And I need to remember I was in merely one city in each of two countries and one attraction in a third - so to keep myself from judging the continent on this small portion will be my goal.
Awestruck? Yes, by the animals. A changed life? I hope so, but other than thinking about it every day, I can't say I'm doing anything differently. I guess maybe the thinking part is important in the grand scheme, and in the end, evaluating my comfort levels. It really was good to push them and in some cases, not buckle. As time goes by, I hope those moments happen more often.
And that when I return someday, I will love it.
Fortunately, we made this second 2nd Grade bucket list item happen in October 2012. I expected to be awed by it, to experience life-changing things and to love it. I was awed by it, I experienced life-changing things but I didn't love it. In fact, other than the animals which were absolutely amazing and some really nice people, I didn't like it.
The disparity between my comfort zone and reality in many parts of where we visited was very wide. It began as we drove from the airport in Cape Town and noted acres upon acres of 10 x 10 corrugated tin homes. My immediate reaction was to wonder what I could do to help, and I pondered that for several days as we passed more and more in our adventures. Then it hit me.
I was doing what I've been critical of our government of doing for so long, being so arrogant as to think our culture is better, that we need to bully our way in and fix things. But this didn't need fixing. It was tribal, it was family and it was their home. And who was I to think my way was better?
One of the things that lead me to this realization was a man who was standing outside the District Six museum (http://www.districtsix.co.za) as we were awaiting our hop-on-hop-off bus after visiting the museum. He had one of those jointed wood snakes and he was approaching people to startle them, then giggling like a school boy. When he saw us, he showed us the toy then said he lived in the shelter around the corner. He proceeded to talk to us about the importance of humor and joking before he ran off to play his snake game on a group of students getting on their bus. I couldn't help but hope that the bus would come very soon - but before it did, he came back and began to sing. My gosh, this guy's voice was one of the most beautiful we had ever heard. It was magical - we didn't know what he was singing, if it was something tribal or if he was making it up as he went along, but we were completely entranced. Every few minutes, he would say "the bus will come soon, don't worry" then he'd resume singing. The bus eventually came and my life had changed.
This man was not unhappy. He didn't tell us he lived in the shelter to make us feel bad for him, and he completely recognized our discomfort. He took it upon himself to try to make us comfortable in his environment. The environment, by the way, that up until the mid 1990's, spurned him for the color of his skin.
I've been attempting for the last couple of months to put my finger on what I didn't like about this trip. It wasn't this event in Cape Town, though that did test my resolve. One day in Zambia certainly added to it. Outside the park at Victoria Falls was a lovely marketplace, about 150 yards long, and from what we saw on our arrival, held an amazing array of beautiful tapestries, carvings, etc. that we really looked forward to looking at and undoubtedly purchasing. After we visited the falls, which were spectacular, we visited the marketplace, the plan being to start at one end, shop our way down, then return to make purchases. Wrong. The first booth we approached had beautiful carvings and nearly the second we looked at them, the proprieter, Joe, picked up the one he saw us looking at, together with one that was significantly bigger, and told us that was the one we had to buy. We told him they were lovely but we weren't yet ready to purchase after which he got even more pushy - nice, but pushy. We told him we would purchase the smaller item. He very nicely wrapped it up and we were on our way. But little did we know that it seemed like the rest of the booths targeted us as Rich Americans and from then on, like with Joe, we were not allowed, or so it felt, to just shop. They each had in mind what we needed to buy and when we said no, they said they would come to our hotel later to get payment. We lasted one more booth before walking away.
Though it was completely cultural to the area and from what we later learned, not saved for tourists but the way it was for anyone shopping, it was without a doubt one of the most uncomfortable moments I recall experiencing in my life. The next day proved to be more of the same but even worse as guys (always men, never women) would run up to us and walk along with us as we were hiking, just to try to get us to buy. A tour guide we met said we were safe and that it was like their telemarkeing - but we couldn't hang up. And putting it in words here doesn't begin to describe what happened during these encounters.
Vacation and adventure, in my little world, is all about relaxation and education - so in view of this, this vacation was a great one. And I need to remember I was in merely one city in each of two countries and one attraction in a third - so to keep myself from judging the continent on this small portion will be my goal.
Awestruck? Yes, by the animals. A changed life? I hope so, but other than thinking about it every day, I can't say I'm doing anything differently. I guess maybe the thinking part is important in the grand scheme, and in the end, evaluating my comfort levels. It really was good to push them and in some cases, not buckle. As time goes by, I hope those moments happen more often.
And that when I return someday, I will love it.
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